TENDER MERCIES

I have been blessed, these past few days, to witness first hand the healing affects of the Atonement in the lives of those who seek to be forgiven, and of those who bestow forgiveness. I hesitated to share this in such a public setting, only because I consider it to have been something sacred that I was able to experience, but it is the kind of story that reminds me that the Lord's hand in our life is greater than our own hand. I would hope that it is a reminder to whoever is reading this as well.

As most of you know, I work as the Director of Social Services in a Skilled Rehabilitation Facility. I see a lot of different people who come and go. Some are happy, some are angry, others are content with how their lives have panned out and then there are some that have been given the proverbial short end of the stick for most of their life. There is one particular resident, who I'll call "Jane," who had experienced just that. When she came into our facility she had been through a string of nursing homes that either didn't want her back, or that she didn't want to go back to. Jane was very pesimistic and would immediately become emotional or defensive if you talked to her about changing habits that were hurting her or affecting her care. She had a string of mental diagnosis that made it difficult for her to understand reason, and as the years went by working with her, it became obvious that Jane's background had led her to how she was. Without going into detail, it could most simply be put that her lack of love and human decency received in her childhood made it difficult for her to function rationally, trust openly, or even feel as though she was worth anything.

One of the things that Jane would occassionally talk about was her children. She let staff know that while she had no immediate family, she used to have two children that were taken away from her when they were very young. For almost forty years she hadn't seen or heard anything about them, and wasn't sure even where they lived or what happened with their lives. It was obvious that there was a lot of pain and heartache when she spoke of the past, and she wasn't questioned further as to why things turned out the way they did. Kinlock, who is Jane's social worker, had offered on numerous occasions over the last 5 years to try and locate her children for her, but she always refused and stated that she didn't want to look for them.

About a month ago Jane approached Kinlock and told him that she wanted him to try and find her children. She gave him the name of her son, who was 6 years old when she last saw him, and told him the last known state he was in. With Kinlock in my office, I got on the phone with my mom and had her look up some information for me at her work. After some searching we located a man with the same name, but different spelling, and roughly the same age as Jane's son would have been. We typed up a letter indicating who we were, the request of our resident, and asking if he would be able to help provide us with any information as to if he was or wasn't the person that we were looking for. Jane read the letter before it was sent out and we waited. She became anxious about it, asking Kinlock regularly if he had heard back from the man, but almost a month went by and still no response.

Last Friday as I was sitting at the desk I received a phone call from a woman in the midwest, identifying herself as Jane's daughter. She stated to me that her brother had received the letter that we sent and that he immediately called her. Jane's daughter was incredibly emotional, stating that she never expected to receive news like this, and indicating that she had been told when she was a young girl that her mother had died. She was notably shocked by the thought that her mother was still alive, and there was a feeling of anger as to why it took so long for her mother to look for them. I asked her if she was at a point where she would feel comfortable talking to her mother, but she indicated that she wanted to talk to her nurse first and see how she was doing. I explained that Jane would have to give verbal permission for that to take place since she was responsible for herself, and stated that I was willing to talk to her about it. After a brief pause, she stated that when I talked to her she wanted me to let Jane know that she and her brother were happy and had done well in life. She wanted me to tell her that she wasn't angry about the past and that she had forgiven her. She also wanted me to let her know that between her and her brother, Jane had 6 grandchildren and a great-grandchild. Jane's daughter took the phone number to her mother's room and said that after she talked with the nurse she would decide if she could talk to her or not. I took down her number and let her know I would call her back.

Immediately after speaking with Jane's daughter I received a phone call from Kinlock indicating that he himself had just finished having a conversation with the son. I told him about the conversation I had just had with his sister, and he said that the son's reaction was somewhat different. The son indicated that there was still a lot of pain that he was working through and that while he had forgiven her, that he wasn't ready to speak with her in person quite yet. He asked that Kinlock give her his name and address, and have her mail him a letter as a way of communicating at first. Kinlock and I went downstairs to find Jane and pulled her into the dining room, and away from the other residents and staff. We handed her the piece of paper with her son's address, her daughter's name and number, and the information about her grandchildren and great-grandchild. June was silent. She looked at the paper for several minutes with tears streaming down her face, and then back at me and Kinlock. She asked us "are these really my children?" over and over. Fighting back tears ourselves, we assured her that yes, they were her children, and that they now knew about her. I explained to Jane what her daughter had told me, about she and her brother being happy, and having families of their own. I didn't talk to her about the expression of forgiveness that her daughter had talked about though. Kinlock asked me later why I hadn't mentioned that and I told him that I didn't feel like it was my place to tell her that. I felt that it was something she needed to hear from them directly if they felt like expressing it.

This was last Friday when this took place and I called her daughter back and let her know we had spoken with her. After another emotional conversation, she asked that I transfer her down to the nursing station so that she could speak with her mother. The nursing staff indicated that June and her daugher talked at length on Friday, on Saturday, and again on Sunday evening. A lot of emotions were shared and June was able to hear from her daughter, who she hadn't seen since she was three-years-old, that they held no feelings of anger or resentment towards her. The nurses said that June spent the entire weekend telling everyone she came in contact with about her children, and her grandchildren, and how grateful she was to have found them again.

Today when I walked into work I was informed that early this morning June passed away in her sleep.

Kinlock had a heavy heart when he heard it, not only for the loss of June, but for the pain he knew that it would cause her children, who had recently gone through their own "coming to terms" with the reality of the situation. He was regretting that he had looked for them in the first place and had wished that he had left things as they were. I didn't feel the same. I couldn't help but believe that more positive was going to come out of this than negative. The nursing staff didn't have the phone number of June's daughter, so it was Kinlock who called her this morning to let her know that she had passed away. She wasn't able to speak. She was emotional, said she would call him back, and had to hang up the phone. When she did happen to call him back he was sitting in my office and June's daugher explained to him the reason that they had been taken away from June in the first place, and the effects that had on them. She then went on to thank him, over and over, for having allowed them the opportunity to connect with her again, and be able to express to her what it is that they had both been feeling, but never had the opportunity to say. She thanked Kinlock for having given her the chance to communicate with a mother she didn't realize that she still had. Shortly thereafter June's son called as well, regretful that he himself hadn't taken the time to speak with her, but as well, expressing profound gratitude for the opportunity they they had been given to share with her their feelings of love and forgiveness.

As Kinlock and I sat in my office with the door closed, and the reality of the situation sinking in, there was an overwhelming sense of understanding. For several minutes neither of us were able to speak, and our emotions took over. It became obvious to me that through the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father, June was able to experience for a small moment the peace that comes with knowing that she had been forgiven. Having learned the situation, and trying to imagine how it must have tore at her for all these years, I can't even begin to comprehend the burden she quietly carried. To know that her children hadn't suffered because of it, and to know that they led fulfilling lives, had to have given June a sense of joy that only she could understand. I imagine that in hearing those words from her daugher, her burden was lifted and that the Lord's tender arm of mercy was then extended to her, allowing her to feel free from the pain and guilt she was holding on to.

I am truly grateful for the Lord's hand in this. June's sudden sense of urgency can only be from what I imagine was a prompting from above. Having located her children, and them responding in the time that they did, was not a coincidence. The healing and peace that came from them expressing their forgiveness, and from her being on the receiving end, was truly a gift. Not only to the three of them, but to all of us as we sat in our meeting this morning, contemplating and discussing how important it is that we do the same in each of our own lives. I will always be grateful to June and her children for their examples to me and I will always be thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who extends his own tender mercies to me on a regular basis.