FINAL STRAW

I'm not a really public person about very personal things, but I figure the only people who read this are the ones I would feel comfortable talking to in person anyhow, so if you don't like personal things, don't continue reading (also, I put spaces between paragraphs when I typed, but it won't post that way).....

So I gave in and tried online dating. Gasp, I know. It's something I NEVER wanted to do!! The truth is, when all is said and done, if I'm asked if I did everything I could do to find the illusive 'one,' I wanted to make sure that I can say yes. On top of that, I'm in a family ward with NO singles, and no way of meeting anyone there, so push has come to shove.

I'm back aand forth as to how I feel about online dating. My experience has been, well, interesting. I've had one too many divorced men in their 50's send me messages, and apparently I attract people from other countries who don't speak very good English. I don't get it. Admittedly it is frustrating at times, but I'm trying to have a positive attitude. So then I talked for a while with a guy who was actually pretty decent, but then when I met him in person, there was nothing there. Nothing. Back to square one.

So this last month or so I've been chatting back and forth with a guy who actually seems pretty great. He's educated, he has opinions, he enjoys some of the same things I do, he feels strongly about the gospel, and he seems a little nerdy (which I like). Good, yes? So yesterday he sends me an email and asks if I want to meet for lunch. AUGH!! While this should be a good thing, I just have images of meeting him, and then the same thing happening as before. Back to square one. I have actual anxiety about it, but I'm trying my hardest to have a positive attitude. So Saturday it is. A little Olive Garden, a little conversation. If anything, it will be nice to get out and talk with someone. And even if nothing happens, it's nice to know that I'm not dead inside when it comes to possibilities.

Must.....think.....positive.......