Sometimes I feel like my life is like the movies, but not in a glamorous kind of way. Tonight I found myself at home on Saturday night, hanging out with my dog, watching Lifetime Television shows, and staring at my phone, waiting for it to ring. Seemingly pathetic, I know! When did I become this version of me? The one who spends as much time as possible doing my calling, and not just because I'm dedicated to it, but because other than work, it's the only thing that I have in my life that makes me feel meaningful. When did I start cringing when coworkers asked me what I was doing this weekend, because I knew I would have to make it sound like my life is so busy so I'm 'taking it easy' this time? I'm stuck in a transition that seems wrong, but that unfortunately has become a comfort level. I don't know how I got here! The irony in all of this is that I'm not even feeling sorry for myself. I'm just acutely aware of reality right now.
But I know I've seen this movie before. I remember it ending well - I just don't remember how it got to that point. And I don't remember if the lead character voiced the same frustrations that I'm feeling tonight. I imagine she did. And I imagine she got all sorts of supportive feedback from others around her, telling her what she needed to do to change things. But did she do it, or did she let life take its course? Either way, I know it ends well. I'm going to hang on to that....
3 years ago
2 comments:
And then maybe you'll end up with a really cool screenplay that will make you rich and famous.
I think we might be in the same movie.
During the week I have enough to keep me busy, but when I leave work on Friday afternoon I dread going home because I know what waits for me there, my best friends Ben and Jerry and my Friday night booty call, the Red Box...she alway puts out.
I have actually settled into it.
Post a Comment