Saturday, April 25, 2009

BINGO ETIQUETTE

Last night I went with my friend, Jeffrey, to the Red Rock Casino to go and play BINGO. I thought for sure I would be lucky last night, but not so much. My cards were pretty crappy. Jeffrey got pretty close a couple of times, but the BINGO gods were not smiling down upon us and we left with memories rather than that 10,000 dollars we would have like to have won! I work in a nursing home so I'm no stranger to the game, but I have to say that the Elderly in the nursing home seem to have a better grasp on the protocol than the habitual, addicted BINGO players in the casino. Let me give you a little synopsis:

#1: In the nursing home when that row is filled they yell out "BINGO," loud and proud. Last night on more than one occassion we would hear people quietly say "WINNER," and then raise their hands. Really? We decided that people shouldn't be allowed to win the money unless they honor the game by shouting out it's appropriate title.

#2: As we were waiting in line to buy our cards there were actual conversations going on around us about how close people were to winning, giving congratulations on wins, and how all they needed to win was O-72......the night before!!!! I feel BINGO should be an exception to the rule and not so much the rule. Let's think of more creative ways to spend our time, folks!

#3: In the nursing homes they have these big, oversized BINGO cards so the people who are visually impaired can also participate. As the number is called, they cover it, like you're supposed to. Who's the lazy genious that came up with the concept of automatic BINGO machines?! That's not playing the game - that's staring at a screen that does everything for you while you sit there and watch. Boring.

#4: Last night when we did our original cover-all for 1,000 dollars they had 6 different Casinos playing against each other. Cheap! Nursing homes don't call each other on the phone and split the winnings with Betty in one facility and Delores in another. We want home court advantage, people!

#5: The nursing home residents are serious about their BINGO and will go to town on you if you cancel their game or try to replace it with musical performances. That's nothing compared to the BINGO nazis in the casinos. BINGO is not just a game for them. No laughing loudly, no talking during a game, and whatever you do, DO NOT interupt them while they are "concentrating" on their screens.

BINGO...movies...bowling...concerts. It's all about entertainment!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

SIMPLE HUMOR

I'm in the process of "cleaning out" old emails from my hotmail account and found this email that Ashley Sanders, my Peruvian traveling buddy, sent to me in 2001. Eight years later, i'm still amused:

WHO SAYS REDNECKS AREN'T REAL BRIGHT?

"Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He's hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left.

The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. "Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they split your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Merry Christmas Buddy"

Sunday, April 19, 2009

ON THE MARKET

I've started the search for my house - the perfect house - at least perfect for me. As I've been going through listings and walking through some that are available, I've made a shocking parallel with the other aspect of my life. Looking for a home is like looking for a spouse in some ways. It's frustratingly true, yet humorous. Let me just share with you some of my "house-hunting discoveries" I've encountered:

* A house can look perfect on the outside and at first glance it may even seem exceptional on the inside, but once you start looking around in it you realize that a thin coat of paint only covers up so much. The dirt underneath the paint is still there, and it's only a matter of time before it shows up again.
* The houses that are really good deals are few and far between, and are usually snatched up quickly, but they are there if you're patient and wait for them.
* There are significantly more people looking for homes than there are good homes available
* Fixer-uppers: There are lots of these available - houses with potential. You walk in, see how a hard wood floor would take care of the holes in the carpet, how some landscaping would turn the backyard garbage into a beautiful retreat, and how cleaning the walls and putting some new paint down would brighten up a room. Potential is good, but you have to be willing to put the time and effort into it. Some fixer-uppers are totally worth it and some are a gamble when all the money and time is spent and you realize it's good, but not for you.
* There are a lot of "okay" homes out there, that seem like a good deal, and that you would actually be able to afford, but when you're standing it it there's just "something missing."
* Everyone says that you'll know when you've found the perfect house for you and to not buy anything that doesn't feel right. Is there really an 'aha' moment when looking for a house?
* Looking for a home can be exciting and ultimately you get to decide if it's what you really want or not. However, it can also leave you feeling frustrated, and feeling like you are never going to find what you're looking for. Maybe those "must haves" aren't as "must have-ey" as you thought they were. Must....not....budge!!!
* What one person sees as an ideal home for them is not ideal for another. There are large family homes, smaller starter homes, and the modern homes with cement and sharp edges everywhere that leave me wondering who designed them, and why.

* People become so caught up in the excitement of a new home, and being approved for a new home, that they forget the big picture. Before you know it there's a house with their name on it. After the mortgage is paid, you still have the utilities, the fees, the taxes, the upkeeping. People forget that with the big thing comes the onslaught of the little things. Nobody wants to go into forclosure!

Sigh. I know what I want. I'm not willing to budge on certain things, and I'm not giving up on the chance that one day I'll be walking down a neighborhood and find my very own perfect house. Plus, as my roommate pointed out, houses WELCOME change. They WANT you to alter them and make them better. They don't take it personally if you're not satisfied with the color on the wall and decide for a new look. It's sort of a win/win situation. So here's to looking forward to that....... Bring on the hunt.....at least the house hunting, that is!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

J.D.


Today is a John Denver sort of day. I don't know if it's because I woke up to gray skies and winter weather, or if it's because I'm just feeling sort of mellow. Either way, the 4 CD collection of greatest hits that Kinlock, my Social Worker, got me for Christmas is coming in handy. There's nothing like a little "Rocky Mountain High" and "Annie's Song" to set the tone.

Friday, April 3, 2009

RANDOM TIDBITS

1. I hate doing laundry! My clothes don't even fit in the basket anymore, there's so much of it to be done. I've decided that if I ever have an access of income I'm going to pay someone to do it for me.
2. Jack turned 1 today. Since he doesn't get the concept (being a dog and all), I didn't want to shell out the 15 dollars for a dog cake, so I let him chew on the pom-poms on one of my slippers, which he's been trying to do for a couple of months now. He seemed to appreciate it. I also bought him gourmet dog food for dinner. It was an 89 cent birthday.
3. I've watched the movie "Twilight" 3 times now, which even I can't explain. Edward and Bella look depressed all the time and his orange lipstick is distracting. Am I the only one who things that Bella has the characteristics of a person having taken a little too much ativan, or that it's somewhat of a red flag that Edward has spent months in her room staring at her while she sleeps?!
4. Panera Bread has sandwiches that remind me of Europe. I had a breakfast panini and for a moment was taken back to Austria - except that everything was in English. I didn't have to say "ich habe brot." I became pretty good at asking for bread and water in German.
5. I'm anxiously looking foward to summer, which usually doesn't happen when you live in Vegas. Really, I'm just excited for our annual trip to California in June where we lay around on the beach, play in the ocean, and wish we had enough money to be able to live there. It's been a long winter...in many ways.
6. The tires on my bike still haven't been fixed, which I really need to get done. I'm missing good biking weather.